128 top-level comments · 128 analysed
Been with hubby for almost 13 years now and Meng at the end is very correct: it's not like this insane fire, it's a comfort, trust and caring that can even feel subtle at times but it's always there. It doesnt need to be this insane obsession that Burns through you, ever
I think Meng is more sensible when it comes to the topic of this video. Andrew still has a lot to reflect on. It feels like Meng knows what he wants and what to do, but Andrew is still trapped in a maze.
Andrew, baby girl, stop chasing bodies, they're constantly changing. We get old, we gain weight, we lose weight, etc. If you're looking for partner - you need someone who you can live with, not just fuck The way we classify each other by body types is fair for quick hookups, but …
Hahaha, Meng was on a roll tonight telling Andrew that he was 40 and to knock it off... Come on Andrew, get off Gindr and stop the saunas, you'll never meet a good man in there. I feel Andrew's got some work to do.
Dearest Andrew and Beloved Meng. I wake up every day wondering how my partner could possibly put up with me (for the last 14.5 years). I think much of the success is just simply wanting to be make it work; making room for each other's differences and letting the love grow over …
This video is super interesting. You seem to be in different places on this journey. I also think the different cultural backgrounds come into it a great deal. e.g. the influence of society. Meng's Chinese cultural social responsibility, and Andrew's American cultural individuali…
I am going to read you BOTH right Now Andrew and Meng! ahem You both are too old to be thinking at a 18 year old GED level! Andrew: “when I look on Grindr..” FULL STOP! You just told on yourself! You wrecked yourself before you blessed yourself! Relying on Grindr for quality…
I may have teared up a little when Meng says "I'm really happy about it!" Sometimes stable healthy growth can feel boring to people who are used to hot and cold and emotional manipulation, but don't let stable scare you away, Meng! I hope that relationship continues to grow s…
I will say this. I don’t present as a feminine guy but my mannerisms and how I speak are pretty feminine. When I was fully able to accept that part of myself, I was able to accept other guys being feminine as well. And now I give everyone a fair shot. Even if feminine guys aren’t…
I think we all have physical preferences. With men, for instance, I prefer a handsome, tall, muscular, athletic man with body hair. With women, I prefer someone pretty in an interesting way, shorter than I am (I'm tall), and athletic. But, my preferences don't limit who I date or…
No disrespect because I love you guys but videos like these make me really happy that I’ve been a partner for seven years. Being 40 and still on the apps looking for the hottest thing that never comes sounds exhausting as hell.
Andrew is like, everything that is wrong with the gay world, lots of traumas, low self-esteem, high expectations, main character syndrome, unwilling to compromise at the tender age of 40...
Unfortunately a lot of us have some kind of subconscious internalized homophobia… 😢 Rejecting feminine partners I think it’s part of it.
Once a gay becomes a father, he is never lonely. Also, physical attraction and sex are not important and don't last. Find a partner you share goals with and whom can challenge you to become better.
speaking for every viewer here. we need a part 2, 3 and more on this topic
Listening to this and i just have to say Andrew's a mess. I mean this with love as i was in his position. He mentioned before he's looking for someone to save him but hasn't realised that in a relationship you "save" each other. His appearance gives top vibes, shaved head and no…
6:37 You can choose to get therapy. There IS a way of "fix it", but again, you must CHOOSE to, desire to, know that you are worthy to heal. Saying there is no way is a self lie the ego uses to protect itself from not wanting to explore old wounds/trauma. I say this because others…
This was a really enlightening conversation - as a straight woman, I would say to Andrew (obviously for what it’s worth!) that I find bald guys very attractive. I think charm and intellect plays much more into things when you are looking for a partner regardless of sexual orient…
Look at you boys, all grown up now!
Another thing I want to say is for the gay men that get into the comments and start every sentence with “ my hubby of 15 year” “ my partner of 10 year” or “ I’m so glad to been in a long term relationship and off the apps” . These statements don’t absolve you from the issues bein…
Andrew just not ready to settle. that's why....
Ultimately Loving yourself is the ultimate rebellion in society. Do that and you won’t care what society dictates to you ✌️
Meng, the one thing I will say to you about femininity that might turn it on its head for you: isn't confidence in yourself one of the most masculine things you can see in a guy? Even the most high feminine guy has some masculinity when they are just fully and unabashedly themsel…
At the end of the video Meng's words really resonated with me. Little joys and points of happiness are how I characterize my relationship with my husband. Yes, we started out intense, but over the years we have reached a stable point where we don't always have to communicate as m…
Well circuit party environment is one of the least healthy environments to be. The gay community is very toxic in general but the circuit is probably one of the worst. You talk the pretty much the whole video about looks only... Yeah the bar on looks for body to in circuits is so…
I like this video on many levels. The discussion reminds me of many reflections I had when thinking about what is my type and whatsoever. For example, "Is this guy attractive to me, or is it just that I want to look like him?" And it turned out that many times it's just me wantin…
You can continually raise the bar for your (and your potential partner’s) outward appearance…the reality is you will never catch up because it is not an outward struggle but an inward struggle. It is much harder, but more rewarding and long lasting to work on self-acceptance.
Appearance takes time and effort, and is reflective of a person’s self respect. I’ve been overweight before, and dated fat men, and in my opinion it’s lazy self-indulgence from my own lived experience. Now that I’ve worked on myself, I’d want to be with someone who also values th…
Im now 50 and I definitely see a difference in how many guys are interested in me vs 10 or 20 years ago but wisdom gained has shown me that there is no point worrying about things you cannot change, everyone has their own preferences and you cannot change these, there are still p…
Thanks Andrew for taking responsibility of your feelings and for sharing this with us! All your videos are fun but this is wise (starting from the title). Is internalised homophobia utter BS? Yes. Does it sometimes take an entire lifetime to unlearn? Also yes.
Andrew, you look great. Bald and sexy.
phew this was a tough listen. youre so close to getting it when you mention the self-hate, but you infuriatingly say that can’t be changed. It definitely can, it’s hard at first but it’s very possible and its easy to keep loving yourself once you get going, and with that it will …
in all kindness: regarding serious dating, you should really be a lot less hung up on sex positions.
Thanks for putting yourselves out there again! This episode reminds of a quote: we create our own hell. I like Meng’s tip about going in 2nd and 3rd dates if you don’t hate the person. Worth a shot.
Meng! Closing remarks king👏🏾
You guys will scare our tokyo bttms away with these comments, go easy on them 😕
Gay loneliness is universal, right?
Finally, you’re both growing up but, as usual, Meng is streets ahead of Andrew.
Andrew, I admire your vulnerability and openness to self-reflection. It can be challenging to look inward, but it can also be very rewarding in the long run. Keep being curious and exploring!
I think when you allow yourself to share deep feelings with one another, the mindblowing sex will come naturally with that. They might not end up appearing like your ideal partner, but sharing an emotional connection with them will heighten everything.