@stewartdorward6526
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Complaints about being ‘unpopular’ from guys who have hundreds of hook ups and some relationships ring very hollow - thx to Meng for trying to keep it real.
sarcasticother
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Complaints about being ‘unpopular’ from guys who have hundreds of hook ups and some relationships ring very hollow - thx to Meng for trying to keep it real.
this is not a cancellation, but certain people be acting like they're new. we don't have this conversation as much in the west, but NYC is almost as population dense as Tokyo and gays have "no fats, fems, Blacks/Asians" in their grindr profiles. i don't see why people would think…
Meng is definitely the reality check we needed in this video.
This conversation has the opportunity to move beyond "unpopular" and to the core issue, which is "does your preference prefer you?"
"I realize that my rank is that I'm not Ugly" GURL. GURL I FEEL THIS SO MUCH 😂😂😂
“Popular” in the gay community is this unattainable, ill-defined, and nebulous goal. It’s almost as if we are comparing ourselves to this amalgamation of hotness and sex formed from a conglomeration of all of our gay experiences (clubs, ig, porn). The goal is unattainable becaus…
As an Asian who has spent my entire life in the US, I couldn't even begin to relate to the idea of being "popular" or even "welcomed" in any community. Asian men are unconditionally at the very bottom rung of the (non-financial) social hierarchy in the US; we are always on the o…
As a black gay man who has been to 13 countries, its beyond sad (everyplace is the same). We have our rainbow flag and yet dealing with prejudice in all gay communities. The best way forward, is to keep educating each other and lead by example. Great video !
We just tend to be super shallow and idiolize people who are ridiculously produced and live in a vanity cycle and ignore half the regular people who are interested in us. If you get 100 messages but only like 3 people who message you, you are not unpopular, you are picky sis. And…
Yes let’s take all the beautiful men who are in relationships with body counts in the triple digits and complain about how we’re “unpopular”. This is victim mentality and greed “why did that one hot guy not want me?”. I love your videos Tokyo BTM but the people you brought on her…
I definitely think Akio hits it right on the nose with the 'not wanting to make a fool of themselves'. Being Asian myself, we generally want to 'save face' so making mistakes (whether in speaking, etc) in front of others seems like a nightmare, especially in front of a foreigner,…
One thing you guys didn't touch on too much is to what extent natives are looking for long-term relationships with foreigners vs. hookups. Like Meng said, you guys all do seem pretty popular in terms of getting a hookup when you want but how hard comparatively is it to find a ser…
At times the criticism sounds like entitlement- just because you speak the language well doesn’t necessarily mean people will become more interested. Japan is quite homogenous and what they deem as attractive just might not be you (and obviously that would not be the case back in…
I’ve been writing and deleting paragraphs trying to pick my words for about an hour! Lol What I want to say is I think the trick to getting what you want is letting it come to you. I’ve met some great attractive Japanese and foreigner guys in Japan because they pursued me. Sure t…
Initially, I thought that discrimination due to "uglyphobia" was a thing in Brazilian culture. But when I lived in Canada, both in a French-speaking and an English-speaking province, I noticed that discrimination if you don't have a pretty or beautiful face is something very comm…
why foreigners has to be popular at first though? I’m a Chinese living in USA and I never feel I have to be popular. Quite opposite in reality.
this was such a necessary conversation, please do it more often!
🥶 do you guys enjoy this spicy episode?
That cognitive dissonance thing is real. I’m Black American and when I encounter people who speak Spanish and are struggling speaking English I will respond in perfect Spanish and it just does not compute. They will still struggle in English or be shocked and ask how I’m the worl…
I think a simple fact is that no matter where you are, overwhelmingly, people prefer what they know to what they don't know. I see so many couples who are clones of each other, and it's not a coincidence. Many prefer people that look like them, behave like them, have the same exp…
As an 'Older' gay (male) American, my personal experience has led me to believe that the gay male community at large (worldwide) is one of the most critically biased groups there are. And it hurts me to my soul to even say that. I believe that stereotyping exists in the gay comm…
Loved this. You guys should have more episodes like this "Nitori Sofa Talk" episode! I would only add that although your group is diverse, you guys all appear to be fit to slender body type, so I'd be curious if people in other body type ranges have similar experiences. Anyway, g…
OK, first, apology for my low level of writing English skill but there's lots to cover and it was a very interesting conversation and a topic that totally relates to me personally as well as I'm a Japanese born and raised (mostly) Japanese gay guy living in Canada for 30 years no…
16:38 Not the white American telling Japanese people how Japanese people should be 💀💀
"I have missed so many karaoke invitations..." xD (lots of love from the UK) EDIT: I couldn't agree with Carlton more regarding the whole fetishization of Japan's "cultural innocence" or "purity" or whatever. Even if you ignore just how grossly inaccurate it is, it's also ironi…
White guy in the green shirt saying that looking like a fit Japanese makes a world of a difference is correct. To give you a visual, I look Japanese and fit right into the circuit scene and have dated gogo-boys, inside and outside of Japan. In fact, I didn't even speak any Japan…
I am American, and had very similar feelings in Japan. I love it there, and the people are very friendly, but... they are racist. They. Just. Are. I have lived in the Philippines over 10 years, I have permanent residency, but no matter how long I am here, or how friendly people …
I completely relate to what you all said! The only thing is it's actually getting worse once you get over 45/50! 😂
I had the a different experience: in Canada, I feel an intense pressure to conform to straight-acting male beauty standards in order to seem "attractive", but in Japan I felt free to be myself and let those who were interested in me (viewing me as an "exotic foreigner") approach …
Ok everyone, repeat after me. "I'm wanted. I'm hot. I'm everything you're not." I'll see you all in next week's group therapy session.
When you are getting older it gets harder and harder to find someone who you want to spend time together. The main reason is that your list is getting longer as you age. So it doesn’t really matter whether you are popular or not. Because once you are getting older occasionally yo…
I was smiling the whole video because it felt like meeting up with a group of like-minded friends. I do agree with so many of the points made!! It's refreshing to hear from people who've lived in Japan for a long time and really experienced it. I think that a lot of Japanese peop…
28:08 "like, you guys all have sex and all have boyfriends. I don't understand why you think you're not popular" Lmao I'm with Meng on that. Also, he's the most relatable one for me throughout the video, even the self-ranking I was like that's pretty much how I'd rank myself too…
Amazing stories. Meng, you are vastly higher than 6! You are a 9.5 at least! Thank you for the video!
This video has so much to unpack. But one thing that bothers me most is Carlton’s comment of how he’s practically fluent but has a hard time getting into the Japanese community but a person he knows who presents Japanese but speaks only conversational Japanese get accommodations …
Each one of your positions are so relatable as an American born & raised Taiwanese heritage living in Amsterdam. Generally: Los Angeles - Not popular, but visible to men. Netherlands - Not popular, and not visible to men. Taiwan - Popular, but western vs. eastern cultural stan…
11:05 Meng calling out Subconscious Bias yasssss we all have it
とても面白いテーマだったと思う。ただ日本人の視点からすると、色々と思い込みが激しいなと感じるかも。 ジムのサウナで話しかけられるのは、トレ中に邪魔にならないようにという配慮の可能性が高いと思うし、カナダで体の写真ではメッセが来るのに顔出ししたら来ないのは差別でもなんでも無いと思うけどｗ そんなの日本でもあることでしょ。 偏見や差別等ではない。 19:58のエピソードで分かるように、モテるモテないは結局顔と体の総合的な見た目だという単純な現実だよね。 どんな見た目がモテるかというのは国によっても傾向は違うだろうし、同じ国でも人それぞれ。 しょうがないよそれ…
So I'm a white-passing mixed-race filipino in Cebu so I take a lot of short trips around Asia since it's easy to get to (heading to tawian pride in a couple of weeks) and I really feel that Japan has much stronger prejudice against foreigners for hookups than the other places in …
Meng is at least a 9, but he compares himself to the standard of men he finds attractive. Some people prefer skinny short guys. Love you, Meng! ♥️